Have you ever seen your child just blow their top? I mean, REALLY blow their top? There are some tantrums, and meltdowns, and my kids have had them on and off, but we haven’t had a big one in awhile. Well, today we got it. I mean, it was a dooozy.
I’ll quickly set the scene: It’s 17 degrees outside in Wilmington, NC, a location not used to really cold weather ever. My wife (her story on the matter here) and I told our son, who’s 8 years old, to be known in this story as Volcano, came was preparing his stuff and putting his shoes on for school. Mom tells Volcano to put on a thicker coat, cause the overshirt that he usually wears isn’t warm enough for 18 degrees outside, and we don’t want him to get cold. You would have thought she told him to go out and plow the 18″ off the driveway and walk up the mountain to school with both legs tied behind his back. Volcano erupted. The coat was too big (according to him). There were quite the hilarious phrases he muttered amongst Niagara Falls tears, a backpack tossed on the floor, a toboggan cap thrown across the room. Here’s a sample:
“My friends will make fun of me because my coat is too big.”
“I’m never wearing this coat again.”
“It’s so big.”
“Why are you making me do this?”
Mom and I glanced at each other and laughed, which made the Volcano even more angry. He stated the coat was too big, which I replied “I’m wearing a XXL coat, which fits me the exact same as your coat fits you, and I’ve been wearing it for 6 years, and it’s fine. Your coat is fine”. Volcano replied “It isn’t big on you”. That seemed simple enough, but as my wife and I have such great senses of humor, and are quite the smartasses, wife proceeds to say “I think he just called you fat hunny!”. To which, Volcano erupted a little more.
After 10 long minutes of this, several threats, with the last one being “I will throw you in the car and strap you in myself”, Volcano proceeded to get in the car.
Since it was 18 degrees outside, I had decided to drive him to school so he didn’t have to wait in the cold for the bus (actually, it was so mom and I didn’t have to wait in the cold). The short 10 minute drive was filled with more waterfall tears and muttered sayings from Volcano:
“Why are you putting me through this torture?”
“You’re going to tell me what to do for the rest of my life.”
“I’ll never get to do anything I want to do.”
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“I wish I could have ridden the bus”.
Of course, I couldn’t leave it alone, and I had to reply that even had he ridden the bus, he was still wearing the jacket….and a few more alligator tears rolled down his face. We finally got to school, pulled up to the curb and stopped the car. He shuffled across the backseat, opened the door, said something like “I’m so embarrassed in this coat”, rolled out of the car and huffed his way into the school. I’m sure he ripped that coat off and shoved it in his bag as soon as he walked in the front door to the school, but at least we got him in there wearing that coat.
Mom and Dad 1 – Volcano 0.
For an even more EPIC read on the story, please check out my wife’s blog here.